Exploring Alone: A Curious Girl’s Guide

I have never been one to sit back and wait for the world to come to me. Blame it on my ADHD or the anxiety, but I have a lot to see and I’m not always going to wait around for someone else. When I go on trips, even if it’s with a lot of other people, I always find a way to spend some time alone; to really take in everything for myself because I’m not going to take the time and wait for someone else to do what I want.

This solo exploring is different from solo traveling, when every single moment is spent alone and making choices by yourself. But solo exploring is also an amazing way to see a place for yourself, learn more about who you are, and take stock in your own feelings and thoughts.

These moments alone when seeing a new place, can be critical in how you experience it. Even if it's just a few moments or a meal by yourself, exploring alone is a must-do.

Home: The first frontier

Your hometown is the first battlefield; the first place you can conquer your fears of being alone. I have lived in my medium-sized city for the past seven years and each day, a new adventure presents itself. 

You have to be willing and able to explore your home city by yourself. You’ll have to get used to being okay with those moments of silence and eating lunch without company. You’ll have to learn how to take in your city like a tourist, like someone who had never seen it. 

Take an afternoon or a night to go to that restaurant you’ve been wanting to go to; head to a concert that your friends don’t want to attend, or spend some time walking around the new museum exhibition which just opened. 

These are the basic tools you’ll need for your future adventures, no matter where they take you and once you’re comfortable with being alone, it’s time to head out and explore.

Lessons along the way

While I haven’t done a lot of solo traveling, and as I start to prepare to do more, I’m thinking back on the lessons I learned from my time exploring alone. I’m thankful for these small moments which allowed me to be myself in a place I’ve never been before. I’ve learned to love places in ways I didn’t expect. I think about my time in Nashville, and how being alone actually made me happier than a lot of the times I’ve been with groups of other people. 

These cities open up to us when we’re alone. We’re not on someone’s agenda. We’re not trying to make others happy. 

I’ve found self confidence I didn’t know I had when I went exploring alone in Florida. I learned how to put myself first while walking through the streets of Denver. I also figured out how to use chopsticks at a Milwaukee restaurant, all alone. 

I’ve also learned a lot of tough lessons when traveling by myself. I learned from solo exploring in North Carolina that I was following the same horrible habits in a relationship that had been following me since I was 16. I learned while solo exploring in Portland that maybe my friend group didn’t have my best interests at heart.

I think what’s wonderful about solo exploring is every lesson, every experience is going to be different for everyone. It all depends on the person, the place, and the timing.

I hope you find yourself out there. I hope it’s all wonderful.